and i realised it wasn't really that hard to,
for something i had put off so long.
the place was exactly how it was months ago when we went.
i guess i realised that it'll always be the same place,
with the same view. and the same magic.
but it's the people that's changed.
the people is always changing.
we never really stop. every time it was you,
then it became me alone. then i got friends.
i hope someday i'll bring someone there,
who would be as important to me as you were.
or maybe more.
you know, i saw something i never quite saw before.
the row of lighted buildings and the lights along the bridge and mbs
reflects straight into the water.
and somehow, i couldn't stop staring at the water.
the buildings were there, cut out in concrete outlines and all,
but it was the reflection that made the difference.
it wasn't clear, for sure. it was just a mass of bright forms
dancing on the water surface, and you couldnt make out what was what,
except it was bright. the tide broke the lines and it just bobbed on the surface.
the reflection made me stare for a long time.
i don't know, maybe sometimes we prefer the reflection to the real image.
not saying the mirror image kind because that'd be identical.
but rather, instead of having things or people upfront and clear,
we'd rather have the unclear, indefinite reflected image that isn't as substantial
but we don't care.
because we can't handle the truth, and we don't want to.
but the truth is really, really scary. there are moments when i'd rather be lied to,
then forced to hear the truth.
we all want to continue playing out our version of things.
the rose-tinted version.
the version where nobody cries, the version where we get what we want.
but then, it doesn't actually happen, does it?
however much we want the reflected image, diving in would kill us.
in the end, the buildings that people still go to, the buildings that still stand through history
are the real, concrete ones.
realistically speaking.
we all want the fuzzy image and the reflected shimmer,
but only because we can't handle the real one.
i think that's with love. and all that crazy shit as well.
reflected image is love at it's very best. the whirl of young heady romance,
the rush of the first times. but then reality check and you reenter the real world.
it's solid. and solid doesn't change for anything.
there is so much more to it. there's understanding a person,
and being there so much it doesnt happen any other way.
its not completing sentences, but having an entire silent conversation, but walking away feeling like you've had the most intense talk ever.
it's not squishy hugs that make you feel like nothing else matters, but when he knows you need it most.
it's not much of spotting him in a huge crowd, but feeling him there, and not needing to be with him all the time, but not forgetting about him.
sometimes, i guess the best relationships are not so much of physical,
but mental. like most of it is really what happens in both your heads.
but then who am i to judge, right?
my point really is,
that today i went back.
i saw how badly i wanted to get on with life (which i am, already.)
and i saw how much i lived for you then.
and how i wanted out.
that's one more thing off my to-do list, haha.
well, today, i let go of something inside of me again.
we really did find a beautiful corner by esplanade.
don't forget about it, will you?
go back if you have the time.
it needed us when it could.
but now, it still needs you there as well.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
