guhhh. i can't really start to say how we are like
think i made some post back then about 4L being everything and more.
nevermind. so sad.
it's like going around as a class,
then looking at some random person and thinking
oh gah can't imagine not being in the same class as her next year.
)':
future suxx.
like seriously. so everyone's talking about their subj combi
know for sure 101% whut i'm going to do but
dunno which history or ELL yet ugh.
but the main point is to do all humanities so i can't wait :D
and then shooting. which i'm really trying x120000 not to think about
because every time i do i get really pissed or annoyed or upset
i want to continue so badly. it's like, the natural thing to do.
quite sure it'll kill me if i have to give it up.
and i really, really, really don't/ can't give it up.
guh i hate you for making me have this dilemma
it was going to be just right, we'll all just keep shooting until senior high
and everything would be just right.
gahhh. pissed.
really, why should i give up something i love so much just cos of you??
and then i think of the two years, and how different it will be from the last two years
and i'm damn scared of what i might do to myself
and i'm damn scared of continuing to shoot.
sounds so f-ed up. but sorry, that's how i'm like ):
i should really be 1. less emotional and 2. less attached to things. and people.
like how i really learnt my lesson this time and i'm going to make my wall super impenetrable this time.
dammit.
i love shooting.
there's just something about looking through the rear sight
and knowing you shot a good shot.
and yeah, you can actually feel it when you shoot a ten.
all that stuff i said about shooting before, i wasn't just making them up.
and everyone says do what you want, blah blah.
i want to shoot. but it's not as easy as that.
it's going to come with the consequences of facing you,
but all differently, now.
and i know me.
i know i won't be able too.
suxx.
kthxbye busy weekend )):
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