last post everrrrrr.
mayb for somewhere new.
mayb not.
don't know.
there's a lot of shit here about the past
and i really don't want to come back anymore.
today, i promised myself that i would never,
ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cry for you again.
but still half-hearted about shooting because it really means a lot to me
and i shouldn't let it go because you aren't worth it.
don't know ugh ):
anyways,
i'm closing it today.
actually pretty cool, because i realised what i never saw before.
i have so many amazing people around me
and i think i didn't really notice before.
and thank you if you have been putting up with me for the past few weeks
despite everything and i think i wasn't the best company to have around
but just know that i'm grateful.
not going to lie and say that i'm fine. i'm not.
sometimes i am, and i laugh harder than i'd in the past month.
but usually when i'm alone, it hits really hard.
i blame you a lot for doing this to me,
and myself for allowing this to happen.
it's a sucky feeling.
it's squeezy but not in the nice way.
but most of all, it's staring up just to keep the tears in.
biting down on your lip to stop yourself from falling apart.
the most ridiculous part is that i think i'm a little in shock.
mostly about not being able to believe it.
not in the sense that i look up expecting you to come back,
but rather, not believing that you could change your mind
and that i'd walked away for the last time
blah blah. all that.
but then again you know what?
i will. somehow. but i will.
i even made a list for it, haha.
how things always seem so much more official with lists.
things to do. probably quit aep. go for one more training (this one's really just to prove to myself that i can do it without you). go back to our corner at the esplanade someday soon. watch a bunch of movies. talk to people i hardly talk to. get a plant and water it daily. and then i'm going to study like hell for senior high, and take literature and other arts maybe a new cca, and become some weird artsy person who writes plays and sips english tea.
(BIG DREAMS IKR)
:D
okay just kidding about the last part i hate tea.
ask me if i'll fall in love again,
i don't know. probably won't dare to anymore.
but you know how disconnected my heart is from my head
so what can i say.
this much,
i'm going to be okay.
everything is going to be okay.
i don't know, but i just, really really think so.
tonight, gonna fight, till we see the sunlight,
tik tok, on the clock, no the party don't stop now.
well, bye guys!
skyscraper, demi lovato.Verse 1
Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence as it’s ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There’s nothing left of me
Chorus
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper (2x)
Verse 2
As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed
All my windows still are broken
But I’m standing on my feet
Chorus
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
And go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper (2x)
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