):
so dumb that everyone tells you to follow your heart blah blah blah
when everything is already curving towards another side
and what?! forcing everyone into doing what some have completely no interest in?!
this is taking our dreams and showing us how they
crush it and let the fragments slip through their fingers
just because they can.
i just hate that it's that way.
i'm a literature student. i'm not inclined towards science.
so stereotype me now.
i can feel your heartbeat playing on my right side.
mid weeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
come on we can do it :D
ehh. won't you just revert back to who you were before you met them?
i mean, not like you have to change a lot for that person
NOT LIKE LOVE IS ABOUT CHANGING FOR SOMEONE
IT'S ABOUT ACCEPTING WHO THEY ARE DESPITE EVERYTHING.
YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE SO SOMEONE WILL LOVE YOU
BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU WILL GET SO TIRED OF PUTTING UP THAT SHOW
THEN CRACKS WILL START TO SHOW AND
THEY WILL END UP FACING THE REAL YOU,
AND PROBABLY NOT LIKE WHAT THEY SEE,
WHICH IS NOT RIGHT. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT ON AN ACT
BECAUSE THE PERSON THEY FALL IN LOVE WILL JUST BE AN ACT
AND NOT WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
AND WTF WILL YOU WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVES SOMEONE WHO ISN'T THE REAL YOU?
I MEAN, HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY KNOWING THAT?
AND WHAT, PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
AND IT'S DOWNHILL FROM THERE.
zomg.
wake up in the middle of the night to say,
i'll never walk away again.
like, from the train @redhill or something, haha.
just realised how funny it is that everything is super different now
like, the us from the past would have laughed themselves sick
over how we are now.
but then they'd stop laughing after a while because they realise
how much happier we are.
okay idk about you, but me at least.
happyyyyyyy like having a balloon tied to your wrist
(even if it's a sucky knot that keeps coming loose)
or happy like when you see soap bubbles.
which is odd because i'm simultaneously miserable about school.
SUCKERPUNCH PLZ COME FASTER ZOMG I WANT :D
sweet dreams are made of this, who am i to disagree?
haish.
i think i'm super easily irritated these days ):
i hope i don't chase anyone away by mistake.
except when someone comes back
and you have to make it seem like it still matters
when it bloody doesn't.
and they are heaping all these options about our futures on to us,
when really, i just want to pull through year fourrrr.
not to mention nationals coming, wtf.
really bad feeling about this, like i know i should be training more,
but then i'd need about ten days a week.
and i know it's important and we've been training for it since last year
and blah blah blah, but
i just have an uncanny ability to screw-up the most important of things.
and suddenly sleeping at 1am is considered early.
i'm averaging two here.
it's three now.
and i probably shouldn't be complaining so much
because everyone is going through the same thing and all that
but this is my blog so shut the hell up and go away if you don't like it.
ugh.
):
note to self, do not ever edit important documents when half awake
AGAIN.
which is kind of hard, considering i'm usually
half awake in the morning/ afternoon/ night.
except mealtimes. i think i'm more or less awake then.
oh.
stupid pw ):printer is spurting out the eighteen pages,
(single-sided becuz i wanna kill moar trees.)
and i'm dying here.
4am whyyyyyyyy?!
haish.
):
oh, wait. make that eighteen pluz eight.
twenty-six pages gone,
that's got to be like, five treez or something.
geez.
we were meant to fly,
you and i, you and i.
term two started out like shit but i guess it didn't come as a surprise.
decided that i would more or less just
take it as it comes.
oh here's a test. oh this essay is due tmr.
lose a couple hours of sleep,
get it done with,
move on with life.
i mean i can't follow lists.
):
long day tomorrow.
nationals reeeeally, really near.
but i somehow developed this dumb mixed feeling
towards shooting.
gah.
chill out, seriously.
take a cookie, go and pee, or something.
even though i loathe chemistry,
i think they probably still have a heart.
if not,
we will poke holes in her car tyres/ her cat or something.
>)
yawnz.
but the ones who loved me told me to stop.
HEEEEELLO I AM STILL ALIVE.
don't particularly have time to blog but im going to anyway.
long due, this one.
HYF CAMP @ st' john island :D
i mean, the sea haz diamonds or something.
and from this beach, if you climb the rocks
you can totally see singapore skyline.
and the flyer and stuff,
and it's really really romantic cool at night when singapore lights up
and we know this because we snuck out to
release all the crabs that we caught, haha.
then had a night walk around the
weird abandoned st john island bungalows
which turned into a very long walk along some road
and then finding the most beautiful beach when we came out from the foresty area.
and swam in the dark
until it was two in the morning and we were cold and hungry.
kind of freaky because anytime something touched us we
screamed jellyfish.
bloop, bloop.
:D
:D
reached the mainland,
and i swear, life doesn't spare you a second.
i think i got slapped by reality really, really hard.
and all the deadlines and assignments and tests and projects
and I BLOODY CANNOT STAND IT UGH I WANT TO DIE WHY MUST THEY PILE SO MUCH SHIT ONTO US WE ARE NOT EVEN ADULTS YET WE ARE KIDZ AND WE WANNA HAVE A YOU KNOW, FRICKIN LIFE.
but instead we have a sad excuse of a life
and that suxx.
a lot.
one day we will stop checking for monsters under our bed, because we realise they are inside us.
no man is an island!
theme for herald youth camp 2011, haha.
somehow managed to force myself to drop everything
and run away for three days
@ st' john island.
a bit of an ocean away, anyway.
so, i'm off.
leaving my entire world behind me,
but i'll be back,
duh. in time to annoy you some more :D
with luv from gina.
i always forget to tell you i love you, i loved you from the very first day
(superman, taylor swift)
starting to think that it was probably a
good thing in the end, because
if i was happy it would have turned out a heckload
differently.
but then it's about the world suddenly disappearing.
well, not so much. more like,
become unimportant.
so the world is gone, and everyone in the world is gone
and you feel safe.
not safe like, holding-up-your-hand-when-crossing-the-road, or safe like insulating-all-your-copper-wires
but safe like, you know everything will be okay,
but even if it does not, you know you are not alone
and you know that everything that was said before was true,
and you don't doubt anything, haha.
safe like, for that square of a moment, i looked at the world through rose-tinted glasses.
all the thankyous and sorrys don't quite add up.
the view of the world over your shoulder.
you know,
this is ours.
I WILL TRAIN MOAR AND TALK LEZZ AND
STOP THROWING THE PANTS ON THE FLOOR AND
LISTEN TO COACH AND DON'T TRY TO SHOOT PEOPLE W THE GUN(STAND).
i just don't want to disappoint myself because i've got enough
of all that this year already and well,
it's shooting.
second most important thing in my life zomg.
almost as important as literature, hehe.
): we need a miracle.
AND WE R GOING TO GET ONE ZOMG.
psyched.
i wizh that
the tsunami doesn't
take too many lives.
maybe. it's the start of the end.
mrs har: ok 4L, so what does ohm's law say?4L: ohmmmmmmmmm-
well, you drive me crazy half the time,
the only half i'm only trying to let you know, that what i feel is true,
and looking at you and suddenly having this squeezy feeling and a
teeny moment of realization that
no matter what shit happens in my life,
i cannot, cannot let you go.
and this silly little hope that
you won't ever have to walk out of the door first.
hunh.
am i gettin' sentimental or whut? ):
You looked at the world through rose-tinted glasses.
You looked at the world with the disgruntled spirit of a dying soldier.
You looked at the world with this iridescent hope that nothing could quench.
You looked at the world with hard-earned happiness, loving and loved in return.
of my life.
you gave me roses, and i left them there to die.
i'd go back in time and change it, but i can't.
but if the chain is on your door, i understand.
most upsetting thing ever ):
having someone wait around so much, until they leave
and you never realised how much they meant to you until
you wake up and suddenly it's really cold out.
it just sucks when you don't know something until you lose it,
but durh, it's too late for anything.
and then i've kind of learnt that sometimes it's really best to
take stupid risks in life even though
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger makes you wish it did,
but you tried and that's all that matters.
or would you want to live your whole life wondering what could have been?
because it's really, really dumb if you have that person in your life
and you screw it up all because you were scared.
of what?
not getting what you want?
but this is life and nobody does anyway.
if the earth fell off the orbit tomorrow and everybody dies,
did you do everything you had to?
stop making 11:11 wishes if that's all your are going to do,
because nobody actually hears them but yourself.
you have to get your arse off the chair and make it happen yourself.
i guess there was this bit in the past where i
was scared too
because it was completely irrational and ridiculous
but then it turned out to be the most impossibly happy thing ever.
like, stopping in your tracks in a busy busy street when our song comes on
and singing and smiling like an idiot and all the tired faces look at you incredulously,
wishing they had it in them to be that happy as well.
long live all the mountains we moved,
i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.
;D
shooting stars will land eventually.
either that or they keeping falling forever.
really!
meh. singaporeans are among the unhappiest people in the world,
you know.
it hurts hurts hurts and
i feel like a fountain,they should just prop me in front of the blood bank
and let people queue up with cups, or something.
bleh.
:(
i'm not afraid of dying,
but i am afraid of losing you.
FOR ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
because where have you and your music been all my life?
sigh ♥.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
