yesterday.
happy belated easter guys!
it's late ):well, not quite. 1:05am to be exact.
math test tomorrow. and a bunch of assignments due
which i have decided to rush out tomorrow in between lessons
but that's not the point.
i just wanted to say,
that nationals was just another little part of shooting.
and that i'm walking away from it.
well, not that it's any less upsetting,
it will always be, i guess.
knowing how much we put into this.
but i guess that doesn't make it a defining moment or anything.
it's just, over.
took me about a week to get over, but i think it's more or less welded in the past.
probably left a scar, but hey, aren't we all covered with those already?
realised i was a wreck last week.
and i wasted too much of my life thinking about something i couldn't exactly change.
and even if we could,
and lets say, go back and get that medal, would we really want it, now?
i mean, will we be truly happy then?
because honestly, i'm tired from the fight.
tired of seeing people blame themselves repeatedly.
tired of blaming myself, even.
tired from going back every few seconds to force an answer out of myself, why didn't we?
i don't know. funny as it is, i really don't.
but this is life! oh, boy. learnt the hard way to shut up and not question everything that happens.
and anyway, someone kinda told me that instead of looking at my eights and nines,
why aren't i looking at my tens?
which, well, changes things actually.
i still love shooting, doesn't change anything.
(i hate chocolate ice cream though. it's messed up. i really cannot stand it.)
it's just that, i figured it's over.
the national inter-school shooting championships 2011 are over.
not really a regret there, i guess.
maybe a few lessons.
in retrospect, i'm glad it happened how it happened,
because it's like we all kind of grown up a little overnight.
maybe we needed it, i don't know.
the point is,
it's over.
yeah. over.
(yessss a gazillion blog posts later and she finally figures this out!)
if you are that's what you're thinking, you are mean and are hereby banned from reading further posts.
go away and sit under the sink ):
Jack: I’m up for it, if you are.
Angel: Up for what?
Jack: Love-
Angel: And other crazy things-?
Jack: Yes, and other crazy things, yes.
up neeeeeeeext EDS NITE! :D
whoopie dee!
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