DAY SEVEN.
i guess i do think of you sometimes. not in the sense where i stop what i'm doing and smile to myself.
but rather, laugh at myself. laugh at us. a lot at us. how we felt like nothing could come between us, how we knew that it was all infinite and how we thought we were crazy in love.
we'd confused it for something else that wasn't love.
but we were thirteen and we made huge plans for our futures, that now seem small against the tide of the world.
you taught me a lot. not directly, but being with you.
kind of funny in that sense, because we made a full circle and ended up back as strangers.
you know, i still have every note we scribbled in haste and somehow managed to toss across the classroom because we were separated at either ends.
and the days when we we sat together and laughing at absolutely nothing of worth.
then it's back to our younger days when you looked at me and i looked at you, and knowing something the world doesn't.
you were always on my side. i missed that the most when i first lost you.
the world could hate me but you never judged.
in retrospect, i suppose you just didn't think of weighing the pros and cons, you just wanted me to be happy.
i was. much as it went downhill, there was a corner of my life where i never knew i could be happier and that's not something i'm likely to forget, i guess.
i wrote out our entire story in longhand. where we were the hero and heroine, and the bad guys all screwed their lives up and we lived happily ever after.
you read the entire thing after a while and told me that it will all happen.
but then, that's what you get when you're younger, i guess.
nobody actually keeps all the silly promises we made secretly at the corner of the classroom.
eventually, we forget.
maybe.
or we grow up and meet new people, and then everything just becomes a distant part of your past which you might relive sometimes, when the sky is quiet and you're alone and your mind takes a long roadtrip.
then, maybe.
but other than that, we got busy.
maybe it's a psychological thing, but everything in retrospect seems dumb and immature by comparison.
i suppose that's not always the case because maybe when we were younger, we were less afraid.
less afraid because we didn't know what there was to lose.
it was the first of the firsts and many other firsts to come, but it came first.
now i look back and wonder, what the hell was i thinking?
i do that a lot.
but then i realised, i wasn't thinking at all.
i was feeling.
with love from the other side of the world,
gina
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