so this is me swallowing my pride,
standing in front of you,
saying i'm sorry for that night.
i miss taiwan badly.
ugh i hate it when things weave into a sticky complicated web and
our pride gets in and messes everything up
and chokes up the words and we won't admit our
mistakes, we won't admit anything.
i don't know (anymore). it used to be my game and then
the rules changed and i'm kind of being thrown around now.
want out so badly but i'm stuck.
why would anyone fight
knowing it was impossibly out of your reach?
and then you know you will fail but you go ahead anyway.
maybe you will, eventually.
maybe you have that fight in you. i don't know.
maybe when you finally get up and decide to do something
and you search and search
and you know what?
she might not be there anymore.
(and that people come and people go, but mostly they just
go.)
you know, honestly, i miss you.
i miss who i thought you were but then that person went away
and never came back.
why?
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